THE BALLAD OF JEFF BEZOS
Nick Dietz

B is for the boy who brought in billions bankrupting bookstores
E is for his ever-expanding empire corporate ethos
Z is for the zombies zooming Zappos to every zip code
O is outer space obsessed with life outside the ozone, and
S is for success… so speak it, say it, subscribe and save it, scream it, shout it, spell it out

I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
The richest man in history
I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
Don't you wish, don't you wish you were me

You people, you think that I'm a villain (I'm not)
Because I built a trillion-dollar company (Amazon, yeah!)
Deep down, I know what you must be feeling
A good amount of guilt and a hint of jealousy (Don't be ashamed)

Read your Kindle on the beach
Buy some Whole Food groceries, stream videos on Fire TV
Check RING Camera for your guests
Ask Alexa who's the best, "Alexa, who's the best?" Its me!

I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
I changed the game with Prime delivery
I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
The reason you expect everything shipped for free

Ever since I was a kid I loved Sci-Fi (pew, pew, pew)
I dreamed of building space hotels and colonies
Blue Origin rocket launches make me cry (giggles)
But you laugh cause they resemble male anatomy ( looks like a penis)

But before you poke your fun
Tell me – what have you done for the betterment of humanity?
When the Earth has gone to waste
And we're living up in space, I'll be accepting your apology

I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
The galaxy commander-in-chief
I'm Jeff Bezos (Jeff Bezos)
Kiss my ass, Gravity

(I own) IMDb and MGM
(I own) AWS and tons more acronyms
(I own) Zoox self-driving technology
(I own) Eero wi-fi and Pill Pack pharmacy
(I own) GoodReads for books and GoodThreads for clothes
(I own) Audible, Woot! and the Washington Post
(I own)Twitch, so you can live stream video games
(I own) So many more brands I forget the names

(I am) Just a man who had a real good idea
(I have) A vision for the future I see so clear
(I am) A humble servant to society
(I want) What's best for you and slightly better for me

Bezos Bezos Bezos Bezos Bezos Bezos
I am (am, am) JEFF BEZOS!